Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t cotton to rapists

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

How many Russians really understand the state they live in?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Is it possible for creatures with intelligence more advanced than humans to evolve naturally in the universe?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I can count

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Finals Film Study: Thunder offense vs. Pacers' defense - NBA

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t buy bullshit

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Will Ferrell Developing ‘Eurovision’ Movie Into Broadway Musical - The Hollywood Reporter

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Scientists detect light passing through entire human head, opening new doors for brain imaging - Medical Xpress

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Upcoming Telescope Predicted to Discover Millions of Hidden Solar System Objects - Gizmodo

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I see through liars

ILL Is A Survival Horror Game Made By People Who Worked On Longlegs, IT, V/H/S/Beyond, And More - Game Informer

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have a reading level above third grade

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Nemo harum distinctio cupiditate soluta nesciunt beatae harum.

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Anthony Richardson sidelined by shoulder injury - NBC Sports

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Michaels completes acquisition of Joann’s intellectual property and fan-favorite labels - Boston.com

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Iure eveniet quod quae esse explicabo autem corrupti.

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I can read

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Firefly's Blue Ghost On Moon Seen By Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter - MSN

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light